We're all Mad Here
by Maige
Summary: In a world where nice centipide ladies get beheaded, innocent girls learn to kill, and cat's have really creepy smiles, you can't trust anyone. Have fun, dear Alice.
1. Chapter 1: Once Upon a Dark Afternoon

Fiddly foo here it is!

Disclaimer: Alice in Wonderland doesn't belong to meh

Once upon a golden afternoon, a young girl named Alice sat in her porch, bored out of her mind. The golden sun's rays shone down upon her brilliantly blond hair, which was brought up into a blue bow. Alice brushed her fingers against the chestnut boards that made up the porch. It was one of the nicest days she'd ever come upon; but there was absolutely nothing to do. The young girl tugged at her dress impatiently. Her black and pink dress was in a sort-of Lolita style. Alice didn't like it at all. She hated to wear dresses, but her parents always bothered her about having manners and being a prop per lady. Alice sighed and rested her face into her hands. She stayed in that position for a while, until she heard a sound. Her corn blue eyes rose up to the woods in front of her. Standing amongst the trees was a handsome young man in a pure white rabbit suit. Well, it was pure white except for the few odd splashes of red running across the fur. Alice cocked her head at him, confused at why a man would be wearing a rabbit suit. The man looked around, then reached into a pocket in the suit. When his hand came back, there was a watch inside it.

"Oh my," he murmurred, frowning deeply. He tapped his freakishly thin and boney finger on the glass of the pocketwatch, as if to see if it were still working. Giving it another frantic look, the man stuck it back into his pocket, then ran into the woods, yelling, "I'm going to be late! I'm going to be late!".

Alice sat at the porch and thought, 'maybe I should follow him. It would be a great adventure probably.' So she got up and walked towards the woods.

The trees blocked out all the sunlight, making it frightfully dark in the woods. Alice looked around, then reached over to pick up some raspberries from a near by bush. She held the berry up in between her index finger and her thumb. It looked good enough to eat,' Alice thought as her stomach growled. She popped it into her mouth and started to chew. An odd and new taste filled her mouth. It wasn't the normal taste of raspberries. She slowly brought the raspberry out of her mouth, and now she could really see it in the light. Alice could tell immediately what it was because of the millions of folds running through it.

It wasn't a raspberry.

It was a brain.

A raspberry sized brain.

Alice screamed and chucked the mini brain as far as she could. As it landed, the bush from which she picked it from (the brain bush) screamed as well, which made Alice scream even louder and with more gust, until she finally decided to move her feet and run away, crying hard.

--

It was sometime later when she stopped running and stopped crying. Alice stopped and leaned against a near-by tree. She then noticed the man she saw earlier, standing by a huge hole. Now that she saw him closer, Alice noticed 'white rabbit' stitched deeply into the fur of the suit. The White Rabbit made a tsk-tsk sound, then, in a blink of an eye, turned into a rabbit. Alice rubbed her eyes in disbelief and pinched herself to make sure this wasn't a mere dream. As the sharp pain ran through her arm where she pinched it, the White Rabbit hopped down the hole. By now Alice had gotten over the fear of what had happened earlier, and curiosity once again had filled the young girl's mind. She cautiously made her way over to the hole. Surprisingly enough, it went straight down, deep down, too deep for Alice to see.

"Hello? White Rabbit?" Alice called down through the hole, her voice echoing loudly. As she leaned down to attempt to peer furthur into the hole, something (or _someone_) pushed at her back, making her fall into the hole. Now Alice didn't know how long she had been falling in that deep hole, but it didn't seem like very long until she slammed head-first to the bottom, as blackness and silence welled over her.

--

As she stayed knocked out Alice seemed to have the strangest dream. About a very beautiful red-headed woman standing in front of her with a distasteful look. What seemed to be cards of a playing deck danced around her and the woman, their almost human like faces distorted with fear. Behind the woman was a giant and horrible looking creature. It had the body of a dragon, but a head that even Alice could not describe herself. It seemed to hover just behind the woman, red eyes glowing evilly. As the dream went on, Alice heard the cards starting to mutter 'sacrifice, sacrifice'. With each passing second, the chanting grew louder and louder and-

Alice woke up with a jump.

"Oh dear," she muttered fretfully to herself, laying her forehand in her hand. It was beaded with sweat. "What a terrible and awful dream." Alice then noticed something other than sweat dripping down her forehead. Taking her hand away, Alice saw small drops of nearly dried blood on the palm of her hand. She had hit the ground headfirst. Alice also realized this as a splitting headache that had been hiding came on.

'Curiosity killed the cat,' her mum always had reminded her whenever she went to touch or look at something that Alice didn't really understand. Alice thought of that phrase glumly as she realized that she could have been killed by the blow to her head.

"Well lookie what e've got 'ere, eh?"

Alice let out a startled gasp and jumped back from the voice. The White Rabbit stood in front of her, still in rabbit form. His whiskers and nose twitched non-stop as her rose his beady black eyes up to her.

"Mr.White Rabbit, sir?" Alice asked timidly, remembering to use her manners, as her parents taught her. "How'd you turn into a rabbit like that?"

The White Rabbit snuffed. "The curiosity you 'ave isn't very good to 'ave around this place, love." He reached into his pocket, and fished out his pocket watch (which surprised Alice that he could pick things up ith his paws) and stared solemnly at it for a few seconds.

"Um, excuse me, but where am-"

"Dear dear I'm going to be late!" The White Rabbit exclaimed, cutting off Alice. "She won't be very 'appy with me, nope." He started to hop away, but Alice grabbed him by the hind legs.

"Wait!" Alice pleaded, her face drowned in worry. "Please just tell me how to get out of here. And please tell me where I am."

The White Rabbit's earlier cheerful expression dropped like a bomb. His upper lip twinged as a snarl crossed his face. Alice widened her eyes in fear and let go of his legs. The White Rabbit zipped around to face her, growling (which also surprised Alice, for she knew rabbits couldn't growl. But then again, this didn't seem to be any normal place.).

"No my dear Alice, I can't tell ya anything about 'ere. And I can't tell ya 'ow to get out." His snarl turned into a twisted grin. "Now that would just ruin all the fun, eh?"

Alice gaped at him. "But you can't just leave me here all alone! I'm only a young girl! You're crazy. You're mad!"

The White Rabbit's grin turned even wider and ten times more twisted. "Oh me dearrie, of course I am. We're all mad 'ere." He started to hop away, but stopped a few meters and turned his head around so he could look at Alice, the twisted grin still planted on his face.

"Welcome to Wonderland."


	2. Chapter 2: Care for a mad Tea Party?

disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland

* * *

Alice blinked rapidly, trying to rid of tears that were produced from the sudden panic building up inside her. The White Rabbit's words processed slowly through her head like meat being chopped slowly and heavily through a meat grinder. Her blond hair whipped around caused by the sudden late-afternoon wind. She could feel the blood draining from her pale face as she stared at the White Rabbit as if she were staring at the Devil himself.

"W-w-what?" she stuttered uneasily, her eyes widened in fear.

"Me dear, it is exactly 'ow I said," The White Rabbit answered calmly, as if he was a gentleman discussing the weather.

"I don't understand," Alice murmurred.

The White Rabbit's eyes flashed menacingly. "Oh my dear, you will soon learn within time, my sweet." He reached out a paw to her face, as if to stroke her cheek comfturably, but he quickly withdrew it. Then he seemed to dissapear before Alice's eyes.

Alice stared at the spot where the White Rabbit stood uncertainly. Then she took this as a time to observe her surroundings, to distract her by the fear bubbling in her throat, trying despratley to escape. It was quite the odd land. She was in a forest, with trees lined up around her that looked like gnarled hands. The leaves (which looked dead but still oddly stayed on the branches) didn't move at all in the breeze. The grass was an strange shade of purple. Alice rose her eyes to the sky. There was no sun, but it still was bright out. The sky was the same purpley color as the grass, except in a lighter shade. Oddly shaped clouds crossed the sky slowly. The nice shade of purple actually was quite comfurting towards Alice, as it was her favourite color, next to blue. Pushing her panic and fear to the dark corner of her mind, she started to make her way in the direction that White Rabbit had started to go before he dissapeared. Maybe she could find someone

_(or maybe they're all insane, like the White Rabbit had informed)_

who could help her find her way back home. Alice's shoes made a _crunch-crunch_ sound as they stomped over strangley softer than normal rocks. Some of them even had gooey liquid inside which stuck to Alice's shoe, making her think sickly of the mini brains. She swallowed hard to keep stomach acid down her throat.

Now, it seemed like nearly forever since Alice started her hike around Wonderland and she was getting quite tired. She was really close to just plopping down on her butt, and crying out of frusteration, and she nearly did, but suddenly the smell of tea drifted through her nose. Alice was never one for tea, but she knew one thing: almost anyone who has tea will have a snack to go with it. And she was mighty hungry. Alice followed the scent, trusting her nose. Soon, not far away, Alice spotted a table standing in the middle of a field. There were people sitting near it, and a gleam of hope shone through Alice's heart. She started to trot towards the table

(_remember what the White Rabbit said...)_

a huge grin plastered on her face. But as she came closer, her smile started to fade. A nagging cramp of fear had settled into her stomach. She started to think of her mother warning her about talking to strangers and about the White Rabbit's 'warning'. But by the time she had thought of this, she had made it to the table. Sitting there was a young man and bone-skinny rabbit. The man wore a purple top hat, with a piece of paper on it that said '10". He wore a long, undone purple coat that matched the hat and also purple pants that matched the hat. The sleeves of his coat were pushed up past his elbows. He wore a tattered old glove with holes at the fingertips on his left hand. Icy grey eyes rose up to meet Alice's pure blue ones. The eyes seemed to pierce through her. The rabbit looked up at her as well. He wore a top hat that was a bit too large for him, so it came down past his eyes. Long and sharp-looking buckteeth produced from a mouth that was curled up into an evil grin. Alice shivered at the grin.

There was a moment of silence. The man had risen a cup up to his mouth before Alice had came, so now it was there perched right in front of his mouth, the tea standing completely still in the cup. Even the few sugar cubes in it had stayed still during the silence.

"Hello," the young man finally greeted, breaking the silence. His voice was cool, with a very light English accent laced over it. Alice shuffled her feet uneasily in the purple grass as the man stared at her. She also felt her face flush. Even though this man seemed very much older than her, he was extremly handsome. His tussled looking almond brown hair peeked out from under the hat.

"What's your name my dear?" he asked, his mouth breaking out into a small smile, showing off perfectly white teeth. Alice felt a bit more comfturable in her current surroundings. She returned his smile.

"My name is Alice, sir," Alice answered politley. She wrung her hands shyly. "May I ask what's your name?"

"My dear, my name is the Mad Hatter," the young man answered, still holding his grin. He sort of reminded Alice of her five-year old brother as an older man:

(_except for his _eyes)

handsome, a kind aura surrounding him. Alice felt rather safe with this man in this stange world.

"And this," the Mad Hatter started, gesturing to the rabbit in the top hat, "is The March Hare." The March Hare nodded silently at her before turning his attention back to the table, staring down at the cracked tea cup in front of him. Alice felt there was something strange about the March Hare. When he turned his head, the light from wherever in the sky gleamed off his fangs, making them seem a light red.

"So, my dear, where would you be off too?" the Mad Hatter asked, trying to make light conversation with the girl. He finally put his teacup onto the table and he set his hand down over it. That was when Alice noticed that his nails were long and crooked, as if he hadn't trimmed them in months. Each nail was colored a different bright color. Alice took her eyes off of his hand and looked up at him.

"Well, I'm trying to get home, I lost my way so-"

"Why don't you join us?" the Mad Hatter asked abruptly, cutting Alice off. He reached into a small bowl on the table and plucked a small daimond-shaped cracker out of it. He popped it into his mouth, and it made Alice's stomach growl. Maybe she should

_(run away, get as far away as possible)_

stay for while; grab a bit to eat. So Alice decided she would. Her mother had always said to be nice and polite to gentlemen; but then again, her father had said to beware of those who acted like gentlemen for they could be murdurers. This time Alice decided to go against her father's wishes. So she sat down in one of the empty chairs-

-and shrieked, jumping off of her seat. Alice had sat on something and when she did, it jumped up and tried to bite her. The girl looked down onto the seat fearfully to see a small ball of fur, no bigger than a small dog.

"Peace, Alice dear," the Mad Hatter said, holding a hand up. "Please do not be alarmed. That's just the DoorMouse. I'm sorry if he tried to bite you. He was sleeping, and you probably just startled him." He let out a sharp and short whistle. The DoorMouse jumped off the seat and scampered quickly across the table, before curling back up into a ball near a teapot. In a few seconds, it's back rose up and down gently as it slumbered.

Alice looked up at the Mad Hatter uncertainly before sitting back down.

_(Mouse? MOUSE? That looks alot more like a giant rat!)_

It was quite true, it looked a lot like a cross between a yorkshire terrier and a rat. Alice stared at it as it slept.

"So, Alice, what were you saying again? You are lost?" the Mad Hatter asked, picking up the teapot and a empty cup. "Well, my dear we're- oh, do you like tea?"

Alice shook her head.

The Mad Hatter set the teapot and cup down. "Well, I should guess as much, you're just a young child. Not many young children really like tea, do they now?" He waved a hand towards the crackers. "Well then, just help yourself to the food. You're such a skinny girl, no offense meant."

Alice reached foward and cautiously popped them into her mouth. Reconizing the normal salty taste, she continued to stuff more into her mouth, not really caring about her manners at the moment.

The Mad Hatter leaned back, a small glint of amusement lingering in his eyes. "So, please continue what you were saying."

Alice swallowed the handful of crackers. "Well, I'm lost. You see, I was just walking through a forest near my house and I started to follow the White Rabbit. Do you know him?"

The Mad Hatter's cheerful expression dropped. His upper lip rose a bit in a snarl that made his handsome face ugly. His hands tightened into fists.

"Yes. I know him quite well."

Alice recoiled a bit from the man, scooting her chair backwards a bit. She looked over at the March Hare. He gave no reaction. In fact, he was so still Alice thought he might be asleep. Alice looked back up at the Mad Hatter. Her bit his lip then shook his head, as if shaking all the anger out of him. The Mad Hatter smiled at Alice again.

"I'm sorry there dear," the Mad Hatter aplogized. He managed to keep his voice even, but it sounded like the voice of someone labouring their anger. "I've had some...unfortunate past events with the White Rabbit." His icy blue eyes rose to Alice. "Are you now looking for him?"

"Yes," Alice answered, swallowing her fear. She could still see the angry face the Mad Hatter summonded, the fire in his eyes, so murdurous. Alice felt a chill run through her. "Because I think he can somehow help me find my way home. Can he?"

"Actually, he can," the Mad Hatter replied, putting a few teaspoons of some sort of purple powder into his teacup. He lazily swirled the powder around the tea with the tiny spoon. "He's really the only one in Wonderland who knows the way out of here." He took the spoon out of the teacup and tapped it on the table half-mindedly. "In fact, everyone here in Wonderland is lost." The Mad Hatter's eyes suddenly looked distant and far away.

"Um, Mad Hatter, sir?" Alice asked, waving her hand a bit faraways from the man's face.

"How are a writing desk and a raven the same?" the Mad Hatter asked softly, still staring out into space, his eyes glazed over.

"Excuse me?"

The Mad Hatter shook his head once again and looked at alice sheepishly. "I'm sorry again my dear. My mind tends to wonder off at the worst moments."

"It's OK," Alice said quietly. This Mad Hatter fellow was quite

_(mad, as mad as a bull in a red painted room)_

the odd ball. He seemed to fit perfectly in with this strange land.

"So, could you probably help me find the White Rabbit?" Alice asked hopefully. "I remember hearing him say something about him being late for something. Do you know what he's late for? Where it is?"

"Well of course my dear," the Mad Hatter answered, before taking a sip of his tea. He then set the cup back down. "Well, I don't really knew what he's late for, but I do know which way it is." He pointed to the left of Alice. "The place where is going should be that way, I am certain for sure."

Then for the first time since Alice had got there, the March Hare spoke up.

"No, I really believe that the place the White Rabbit has gone to was this way," the March Hare said, pointing to the right of Alice. His voice was extremly quiet. He talked like a child who had just been scolded for yelling out loud.

The Mad Hatter frowned at the March Hare. "Well, that just won't do now, will it." Then, without warning, the Mad Hatter clutched the March Hare tightly in his hands. Alice stared in sudden shock as the Mad Hatter grabbed the hare's tiny little neck and twisted it with a loud SNAP. Little droplets of blood sprayed onto the Mad Hatter's face, making him look like a homicidal killer. Alice tried her best not to gag when she saw the little bone sticking right out of the March Hare's neck, blood dripping slowly from it. And all this time, the Mad Hatter had an extremly calm look on his face. He then seated the now dead March Hare on the empty seat, and propped him up onto his butt like a puppet. Despite his efforts, the March Hare's head hung limply over it's shoudler, only connected by very few sinews. The hat on the March Hare's head fell onto the ground, revealing black, empty, sunnken eyes. Alice felt a scream come up her throat, but she swallowed hard over it. She also felt the crackers trying to come back up. The Mad Hatter's eyes suddenly rose to Alice's blue eyes. The moment they connected, Alice finally stood up and jumped back so fast her seat fell over. She paid no attention to it.

"Y-y-y-you," Alice stuttered, unable to get any words out of her mouth.

"I am absolutely sure that the direction of where the White Rabbit is is that way," the Mad Hatter said casually, pointing once again to Alice's left. He once again took a sip of his tea, acting as if he didn't just kill someone, but as if he was visiting old friends.

"Y-y-OU KILLED HIM!" Alice finally shrieked. As if to prove her statement, the sinews holding the March Hare's head finally gave away and snapped. His head tumbled to the ground beside his head and rolled a few feet away from the table. Alice widened her eyes and let out a frightened cry. The Mad Hatter looked down and kicked at the head like it was a soccer ball. It went rolling.

Alice started to tremble uncontrolably while good ol' fear started to rise in her again. "It's true what he said..."

"Oh, that we're all mad?" the Mad Hatter asked in a sarcastic tone. His friendly aura crashed. Alice was now afraid of him. Terribly afraid. "Well, genius, did you figure that out when I told you my name? I thought it would probably get the clogs meshing in your tiny brain."

Alice's eyes now held hurt and anger, rather than fear. "Stop insulting me!"

The Mad Hatter arched his eyebrows."Did you just yell at me, little girl? You know, I really do have a bad temper. And I can do what I did to the March Hare to you. It's like breaking a toothpick."

Alice gasped at the insult.

"Now, little girl, I suggest you start running right now," the Mad Hatter said in a low tone. "The DoorMouse hasn't eaten in days. He's not fond of crackers at all, really."

Alice looked down, expecting to see the DoorMouse sleeping. But he was awake. Wide awake, and baring all his glistenings, extremly sharp fangs. He gnashed them a couple of times as drool spilled down from his mouth and pooled up on the table. The DoorMouse suddenly leapt at Alice. The girl screamed and ducked as quickly as she could. The DoorMouse sailed over her head and smashed into a tree headfirst. It got up woozily. Alice took this as a chance to start running. She ran to the left, hoping that the Mad Hatter didn't lie. Alice could hear the DoorMouse scampering behind her, emitting something that sounded like a cross between a bark and a squeak. Alice ran blindly into nearby woods, crying and wailing as the imaginary demons around her hid in the trees, laughing at her shrieks and cries.


	3. Chapter 3: Sinful Grins

disclaimer: I don't own alice in wonderland.

* * *

Storm clouds rolled in, covering the purple sky like a blanket. Thunder boomed softly and lighteneg cracked against the clouds every now and then. A slow and steady drizzle of what looked like black-colored raindrops fell soflty from the sky. Bone-shattering shrieks came the south of where the storm had started. Shrieks that seemed to belong to a distressed and terribly frightened little girl.

Alice ran and ran and ran. She ran through the forest, ignoring the branches that were sticking out towards the path. The branches scratched and clawed at her like the hands of demons. Blood started to draw at the deeper scratches. Her dress was getting torn and ripped. Alice wasn't even sure if the Door Mouse was still chasing after her. She think she had caught sight of him plopping down in exhaghstion some time earlier, but it didn't really matter what her eyes saw in this crazy world. The Door Mouse was still behind her, she just knew it. Snapping those fearsome jaws of his and craving for the blood of a young girl. As she ran, Alice got caught in a mess of hand-like branches, which had grabbed her and would not let her go. Alice screamed and cried and bled and fought back against the branches. Finally, they seemed to be tired of her struggling, and snapped, sending her flying fowards and out of the woods.

She cried out as she hit the grass hard, causing the bleeding cuts on her arms and knees to scream painfully.

Alice slammed her fists onto the ground like a three year-old having a tantrum. She sobbed heavily and placed her head into her arms. After a moment she lifted her head, her bangs shadowing her eyes.

"WHERE AM I?!" she screamed to no one, as tears poured down her face by the bucketload. This was insane; she was going insane. Alice stared up at the heavens and continued screaming, but now she was just plain screaming. After a while, her voice grew hoarse and soon it came to a low gutteral moan. And after somemore time, it ceased and Alice laid there with dark rings under her eyes. Her eyes stared ahead, with a frightfully dead look in them. Despite the fact that that was quite embaressing, suddenly going back to the age of two, Alice didn't really care. Nobody was there to see it, and it felt good to get the fear out of her. Her stomach now was settled, but her throat was sore from the screaming.

"Oh, poor dear Alice."

The sudden voice cut through Alice like knife going through a butter. It was a cold voice, a menacing voice. As Alice rose her head up to meet the person of the voice, she prayed mentally that it was just her imagination.

All that she saw was a grin.

A toothy, large grin, floating in midair a few feet from Alice. It's teeth were more like fangs, actually. Alice stared at the grin in shock. Then, as she stared at it, a body appeared with the grin. Alice cried out in surprise, recoiling from the thing. A moment later, the shape formed out to be a normal-sized cat. It's head was squashed into a almost football like shape. The cat was purple, with black swirly lines running through it making it looked cracked. Now that she saw the eyes of the cat, it's grin looked much more sinister than it had without the body. The cat's paws were much too oversized, and the claws on them were also too much oversized.

"W-who are you?" Alice managed out. She shivered at the cat's grin. It reminded her too much of the White Rabbit's.

The cat lazily started to pick at his fangs with one of his claws. "I'm the Chesire Cat, of course. I'm the keeper of these woods here. And thank you very much for destroying those branches, little girl."

Alice blushed. "I'm so sorry."

"Of course you are," the Chesire Cat said absentmindendly. He took his claw out of his mouth and inpsected it. A moment later he flicked whatever what was on his claw away, turning his attention back to Alice. "So, Alice, what brings you here to Wonderland?"

"Well- hey wait, how do you know my name?"

"Well, I have exceptionally good hearing. I could hear you talking to the Mad Hatter and the March Hare over on the other side of the woods. Oh, and just so you know, the Mad Hatter was quite right. The White Rabbit indeed did go this way. I saw him myself. That idiot was going so fast he smacked into my tree and woke me up from a very nice nap! Then he just skittered off again, muttering 'I'm late, I'm late' without saying sorry!" The Chesire Cat hissed, sinking his claws into the tree. "Nobody here likes that stupid cur anyway!"

"Well, I'm looking for-"

"Yes, yes, I know," the Chesire Cat interupted, waving a paw. "Didn't you hear what I said? Good lord, you must be deaf."

Alice stared at him, tugging at her skirt impatiently.

The Chesire Cat peered over in the direction that Alice came from. "Such a shame that the March Hare has died. He was a good fellow. Wouldn't try to stick his nose in your buisness, but he was too quiet sometimes in my opinion. But it was such a shame. He was such good friends with the Mad Hatter. Poor fellow must be taking it pretty hard.

Alice stared at the cat in disbelief. "What?"

"I should go visit the Mad Hatter, he must be so lonley. The only friend he has with him right now is the Door Mouse, and he's not very fun to be around with. He sleeps almost all the time! I should go over as soon as we're done chatting, and I should throw a Mad Party for him." The Chesire Cat looked off into space thoughtfully.

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked in a shocked tone."He _killed _the March Hare! You should've smelled the blood, or heard the March Hare's neck snap, or something!"

The Chesire Cat looked at her for a moment, as if studying her. Then he gave that creepy grin again.

"Oh yes, he's just _crazy_," the Chesire Cat said. As he said the word 'crazy' his ireses spun off in oppisite directions. Alice cried out. A moment later, the Chesire Cat's eyes zoomed back to their normal positions. The Chesire Cat giggled insanely. "He's going to the funny farm!" He covered his mouth with a paw, but a moment later he burst out giggling again. Alice stared up at him, a bit frightened by his outburst of insane giggles. She took a step back.

A loud crack of thunder cut off the Chesire Cat's giggles and made Alice raise her head to the sky. Storm clouds slowly made their away towards the girl and the cat. The Chesire Cat looked down at Alice.

"Oh Alice dear," he cooed, in a odd singsong-like voice. "You better get to shelter and soooon. The clouds are rolling in, and storms here in Wonderland can sometimes be ecpsecially nasty. And this one looks like a hum-dinger." The Chesire Cat peered up at the clouds. "We're gonna get one mess of a storm here tonight I can garauntee."

"Well, I really don't mind a little bit of rain," Alice announced to him. In fact, she liked going out in the rain.

_(and who knows? Wonderland's so wierd, they probably have no such thing as lightening, but only thunder)_

"Dear, dear Alice," the Chesire Cat said cooly, sitting up on his branch. His tail swished around lazily. "I said this is a STORM. And storm's here in Wonderland can be really nasty. So don't doddle. " With that, the Chesire Cat's body dissapeared, except for his grin. The grin lingered in midair for a few seconds, before vanishing as well. Alice continued to sit on the ground, staring up at the rain clouds. Now that the Chesire Cat mentioned it, they did look pretty fearsome. Just as Alice started to have seconds thoughts, rain started to drizzle around her. But was odd to Alice was when the first rain drop hit her arm, it stung. For a moment she thought that it hit one of her cuts, but as she looked down at her arm, she saw there was no cuts, but there was now a dull little scorch-mark. Alice looked up at the sky. Another drop hit her in the cheek. It stung and she clasped a hand over her cheek. Another raindrop hit her in the eye. Alice screamed out in pain and fell to her knees, her free hand covering her throbbing eye. The raindrops started to fall in a great more number of drops. Each drop that hit her skin throbbed. It was then she realized.

_(oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm being burned, I'm being burned_ alive)

Alice cried out in pain as a little puddle of raindrops fell onto her shoulder from a leaf on the Chesire Cat's tree. Without even knowing it, she started to run, ignoring the throbbing pain in her legs from her earlier run and the pain from each raindrop scorching her skin. The raindrops started to fall harder, leaving deep scorch imprints into her body. Never had she felt such pain as this. It was horrible; just horrible. But something in her threatened her to keep running, reminding her that if she would run fast enough, the raindrops would surley miss her.

She kept running, even though her mind started to go in and out of focus.

She kept running, even though the world around her started to blacken out.

She kept running, even though her mind grew fuzzy and she started to stumble on her own feet.

But then she had to stop running, as she heard someone cry out and her feet gave way under her and the world went black.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4: The Redhead twins

disclaimer: Alice in wonderland doesn't belong to moi

* * *

There were two images.

One was that of a teddy bear Alice owned. She loved it so much. It was ragged and the originally bright red bow was now a dull rusty red, with rips running through it. She always slept with it, since it was a gift from her Grandmother, who shortly died afterwards of cancer. One day Alice's mom bought her a pack of new crayons for the new school year and immediatley her brother got jealous, since all of his were either broken or so dull they were almost gone from exsistence. So he ripped the teddy's head off when his mom was busy out tending to the garden. Alice came home from school and stared at the disembodied head and scattered stuffing before bursting into tears and running to her mom. Her mom took the head of the teddy and held it in front of Alice's brother, who burst into tears of guilt. He got quite the spanking.

The other was when Alice was three, and the day was extremly hot. She was sitting near her mother, who was struggling with a pregnant belly to pick strawberries. She squatted near the bushes with a grimace across her face, sweat pouring down her forehead and stinging her eyes. Alice sat with her legs spread out, thumb popped into her mouth. She was thirsty; as thirsty as a dog whose been running in the desert with no water. But her mom wouldn't listen to her whenever she tried to say she was thirsty. So, with her mom not paying any attention to her, she crawled off in search of something to drink. Or at least something to eat that was juicy. She ignored the strawberry bushes- they were to sour without any sugar in her opinion. She was searching for some other type of berry. The rough gravel scratched at her infant hands but she ignored them. At last she came across a bush that was filled with berries she never had seen before. Ignoring any sense in her, Alice reached out and plucked the berries, studied them for a moment, then flung it into her mouth. A second later she gagged and spat it back out. Alice screamed as she realized they weren't in fact berries, but miniscure brains. She chucked it as far as she could and turned around to see her mother standing behind her, looking rather cross.

"Curiosity killed the cat my dear," her mother said in a tired voice. Sweat trickled down her forehead and dribbled past her lips like spit. Alice looked past her mother to see her father standing a bit sideways, with a drunken look on his face. A bottle of beer was clutched in his hand.

"Satisfaction brought the wretched thing back," her father said in a slurred and drunken voice. He clutched the back of Alice's mother's shirt with his free hand and yanked, an angry look coming across his face. "THE WRETCHED THING CAME BACK!"

Alice cringed at her father's loud voice, then cried out as her father pushed her mother down onto the ground.

"Oh god the baby!" her mother screamed, clutching her stomach. "You could've damaged it!"

"Shut up I could care less!" Alice's father shouted, kicking at her mother's side. Alice's mother grunted in pain.

"Daddy, daddy what are you doing to mommy?!" Alice screamed in fear. But suddenly her dad wasn't her dad anymore; he was the Mad Hatter. And her mother wasn't her mother anymore; she was now the March Hare, his hat pushed down enough to cover the blank, dead, blind eyes. The Mad Hatter/her father grabbed her mother/the march hare by the neck and snapped it, sending a spray of blood over her father/the march hare's face, making him seem like a serial killer. Alice screamed and stumbled back into the brain bush, which the branches of it seemed to reach out to her in almost a embrace, but then they started to scratch at her, drawing blood. They scratched and scratched until Alice was sure she was going to be ripped into pieces in no time and-

She woke up.

Alice woke up screaming. She bolted up, nearly to her feet, screaming until her throat went hoarse. When her voice started to thin out, she noticed that there were two figures standing in front of her. Two young boys (about the same age as herself) were standing in front of her. They looked definatly like twins, with dark orange hair and blazing blue eyes. Both wore plaid newboy hats, like the ones Alice's father wore when he was a boy. They both wore black and white overalls, and stripped black and white knee high socks. Their feet were shoeless. It was also then that Alice noticed that the room she was in was in a black and white pattern of daimonds. It made her eyes hurt to look at the walls, so she focused on the twins.

"Well, girlie, are you done your screaming now?" the twin on the left asked in a bit of an impatient tone.

"Or would you like to do some more?" the twin on the right asked in an equally impatient tone. He planted his hands on his hips.

"Who are you?" Alice asked in a raspy voice, her throat still rather sore. "Where am I?"

_(well, dear, is't it sort of obious? Wonderland of course.)_

"I'm Twiddle-Dee," the twin on the right answered.

"I'm Twiddle-Dum," the twin on the left answered.

"And you're in our house," they both answered at once.

"We found you running through the rain," Twiddle-Dee explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "We were taking a walk when we saw you running, and didn't have an umbrella. That's extremly dangerous you know."

Twiddle-Dum nodded in agreement.

"We noticed how hurt you were getting, so we saved you before you got disenagrated. For a moment we actually thought you were dead! But when we saw you were breathing, we decieded to take you in and fix you up."

"Oh, why thank you," Alice said, trying to keep her eyes off the blinding surroundings. "Oh! My name is Alice."

Twiddle-Dee blinked. "Alice? Oh, you must be that girl whose lost."

Alice blushed lightly. Her name seemed to be getting around at a frightfully fast pace.

Twiddle-Dum looked down at Alice with his cool blue eyes. "Well, girlie, you seem a bit parched there. Would you like something to drink, dearie?"

"Um, yes please," Alice answered, looking at him with a puzzled look. He acted so much older than his age. Twiddle-Dee seemed to be the less mature of the two. As Twiddle-Dum stepped out of the room, Twiddle-Dee went to sit beside Alice. It was then that Alice decided that she liked these two. They seemed

_(insane, insane, they're freaking insane they must be! Like everyone else in this nuthouse, don't start believing them dear, it'll be the end of you)_

a bit more sane than everyone else she had met so far. Alice's thoughts were interupted when Twiddle-Dee suddenly moved closer to Alice, so their sides and shoulders pressed against each other. The blonde girl blushed softly as the boy's clothes touched her pale skin.

"W-what are you doing?" Alice asked quietly, avoiding eye contact with the boy.

Twiddle-Dee smirked at the blushing girl and wrapped an arm around her. "You know, you are quite the cutie."

Alice blushed deeper. "W-w-what?"

The redhead lightly cupped Alice's chin in one hand and lifted it towards his face. "Your lips so sweet. As red as blood." He pulled her closer to him.

Alice started to feel lightheaded, and for some reason thought of when she was five years old and a boy who had a crush on her kissed her cheek. Then her best friend Kayla told Alice that if a boy kisses you then you'll get pregnant. Alice ran home crying to her mom that she was pregnant. For some reason, Alice never saw Kayla again. Just as their lips were about to touch Twiddle-Dum came into the room, a cup of brownish liquid in his hand. He cocked an eyebrow at the two.

"Twiddle-Dee, you bloody moron, get your hands off our guest," Twiddle-Dum said cooly as he walked towards them. Twiddle-Dee pouted.

"But she's so adorable!" he protested, grasping Alice in a lover's embrace, making her whole face go red. "Can we keep her?"

"She's not a dog, you idiot," Twiddle-Dum growled, pushing him off of Alice. He placed the cup beside Alice. "Here drink up."

"Thank you," Alice said timidly, carefully drinking the liquid. It tasted a bit bitter, but it felt wonderful sliding down her throat. She drank it entirelly until their was none left in the cup.

"Quite thirsty there eh?" Twiddle-Dee winked at Alice. Alice blushed again. Twiddle-Dee smirked as the light red crossed the girl's face. He leaned down towards her and cupped her chin again, making her blush heavily. But he was pulled back when Twiddle-Dum grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him towards him.

"You bloody fool stop that you know that you are mine," Twiddle-Dum whispered rapidly to his twin, holding him close to him. Twiddle-Dee's eyes clouded over with something Alice saw her father have in his eyes whenever he looked over at their neighbour, Ms.McBrough. Then her mom would glare over at him from the porch but he would simply ignore her. Then the night after there would be yelling from her mother, which eventually would turn into crying due to her father yelling back in a much harsher tone, laced with the afterburn of alchohal.

Twiddle-Dum kissed his twin's cheek lightly. "So stay away from her."

_(are they gay?)_

Alice blinked. Where did that come from? She remembered hearing at Church every Sunday the priest going on and on about how gay people are spawns of the devils, or something like that. Afterwards her mother would sit her down and explain over and over why a girl liking a girl was wrong, but really, Alice didn't care about any of that. Love saw no gender, was her motto. Of course she never used it around anyone except her best friends, whose beliefs were similliar to hers.

"Are you gay?"

Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum stopped what they were doing and stared over at Alice, who slapped a hand a hand over her mouth.

"I-i-i'm so s-s-s-sorry, that was extremly rude," Alice stuttered quietly, twiddling her thumbs together. The redhead twins in front of her smirked at the same time. Twiddle-Dee chuckled. Alice looked up at him in confusion. Soon Twiddle-Dee's chuckles turned into a roaring laughter, a laughter that reminded her a bit too much of a certain purple cat. Alice stared at him, a certain fear gnawing at the back of her head.

"Do you ENJOY this?!"Twiddle-Dee cried out between laughter. "Do you enjoy this you sick little girl?!" Alice cried out in shock as Twiddle-Dee started to melt in his brother's arms. He melted into some strange gnarled, brown creautre. Cracks ran throughout his new skin, blood slowly seeping from them. His red hair grew longer and pooled over the floor, covering both his and Twiddle-Dee's feet. His eyes sank back into their sockets, merely showing endless black holes. Two arm like apendages grew out from where his waist was. Alice felt tears form at the corners of her eyes from seeing such a sight. It was almost as horrifying as seeing the Mad Hatter kill the March Hare. Alice peered over at Twiddle-Dum. He looked rather oblivious to what was going on. He continued to kiss his brother's bloody, cracked cheeks, until Twiddle-Dee pushed him away and started towards Alice.

"No don't come near me!" Alice cried out, shielding her arms over her face as if that would stop him from coming. Twiddle-Dee made something that she supposed was a chuckle, but it more sounded like what her mother had called 'the death rattle'.

"Oh, but Alice, dear I want a kiss!"Twiddle-Dee shouted in a maniac's voice as he slided towards Alice, his voice turning more rough and gravelly. His head started to melt again, but this time it wasn't some other deformed monster, this time is was her father. "Your dear father just wants a kiss dear!" He laughed again, but now in her father's voice, rough and drunken.

"No please just get away from me!" Alice screamed, stumbling backwards into the wall.

_"How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly he spreads his claws! And welcomes little fishies in, with gently smiling jaws!"_ Twiddle-Dum screeched madly, continuing to stand where he was before. As he yelled this he stroked his hair lovingly, an insane look in his eyes. Twiddle-Dum's eyes flew around frantically and he licked his lips every two seconds. "_STAY AWAY FROM ME!"_

Twiddle-Dum grinned devishlly.

Alice pressed up against the wall, tears of fear streaming down her face and dropping down on the black and white floor. "Please oh god pleeease..." she moaned quietly, but then moaned a bit louder in surprise as the wall behind her melted around her shoulders, grabbing her in like everything in this insane world has been going lately.

"Just kiss me my dear Alice, c'mon!" Twiddle-Dee shouted through her father's face, grinning widely. "Daddy won't hurt you!"

Alice sobbed out as the wall grabbed her tighter. She closed her eyes, wishing everything would go away.

Alice started to count backwards from 20 but only made it to 13.

* * *

TEH CLIFFHANGER OF DOOMZ D:


	5. Chapter 5: Eat me, drink me, kill me

* * *

disclaimer: I didn't live long enough to own Alice in Wonderland D:

Note: It never says the name of her mother, as I know, so I'm coming up with my own. :B

_Out of the blue and into the black_

_-Niel Young_

_The ocean, in these times, is a perfect fleet of ships; and we can hardly fail to encounter many, in running over.It is merely crossing,'said Mr.Micaber, trifling with his eyeglass, 'merely crossing. The distance is quite imaginary.'._

_-_Charles Dickens_; David Copperfield._

--

Rain drizzled steadily around the darkened house near the woods. It fell onto the roof of the small house, slid down and fell to either the ground or the porch below, in all a matter of seconds. Alice's mom (who was known as Kathy, named after her mother) stood at the porch, staying near enough the door to be protected by the part of the roof that stood out over the porch. She listened quietly as the rain poured itself out of the gutters, splashing into the grass below. The rain pounded above her, making it seem like she had an umbrella over her. She had her hands clasped up to her breasts, a worried look on her face. Kathy had come out of the house to take Alice in and get her hands washed up for supper, and Alice was no where to be seen. She screamed her name for a while, but there was no sight of her blond daughter anywhere. Kathy's husband went to find the girl without any fuss- they had finished their daily fight- and first decided to search in the woods. Kathy furrowed her brow in worry. The woods were quite dangerous for just a young girl, and she wondered why Alice would go in there despite her warnings.

Kathy reached up and started to stroke her chestnut hair in a soothing way. Whenever she woke up from a nightmare when she was little, her mother would stroke her hair calmly until she went back to sleep. Kathy did that to Alice as well. But thens he stopped. It reminded her too much of Alice, which the subject of her daughter made her recoil with a worried nature. So she slowly withdrew her hands from her hair and put them to their earlier position. It almost looked like she was praying.

Kathy rose her head slightly, just enough to look out to the depth's of the darkened forest, hoping that her daughter was safe and sound.

--

Alice slipped out of unconsious of what was a deep sleep, with surprisingly no nightmares. Just that pure black abyss that seems to go in and out within seconds, despite the fact that it could've been hours on end. She slitted her eyes open only slightly, then rose her head with a sudden jerk as she felt a sudden sharp pain run through her stomach. Alice's head hit something above her hard and a white numb explosion went off in her head, making her slip back into unconsiousness for a few seconds. As the pain went over, she managed to open her eyes fully, and slowly raise her head, stopping when it lightly hit whatever it had hit before. She looked up and realized she was under a table. Alice turned over onto her stomach and carefully went onto her knees, crawling out from under the table. Alice got up on her feet, brushing the dust off of her dress, then took in her surroundings.

The room was no smaller than that of Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum's room. Alice walked over to one of the walls and lightly stroked a hand over it. It seemed to be constructed of a bunch of tin wires bundled together. Same with the cieling. The floor was made of marble. Alice looked back at the table was was recently under. It was also made of marble, and it had only two objects on it. She walked over to the table to look at them.

One of the objects was a small piece of cake on a plate that looked very expensive to Alice. There was a small card beside it. On it was written in spidery like handwriting 'eat me'. The other one was a small, cracked cup with a purple liquid in it. Beside it was a card that said, in very messy printing, 'drink me'. Alice looked back at the cake and her stomach growled. She started to reach out to the cake.

_(don't eat it! Are you thick, girl? This is still Wonderland; you eat it and you might get a monster after you!)_

As that thought passed through her head, it was replaced by a thought of those Indiana Jones movies, where whenever Indy took something out of a temple, a giant rock would come tumbling at him. Brushing that thought away, Alice continued her reach to the cake and cautiously picked it up. She pressed it lightly between her fingers, the tips of fingers entering the spongey like material slightly. Alice stared at it for a few seconds before raising it up slowly to her mouth. The pink organ in her mouth quickly flitted out of her mouth, touching the tip of the cake slightly, before rushing back into her. She stared at the cake uncertainly. It tasted alright. She brought it up closer to her mouth and carefully took a bite out of it.

"Oh my god this is GOOD," Alice muttered to herself after she swallowed the tiny piece of cake in her mouth. She looked down at the rest of the cake for a second before scarfing it down like a hungry wolf. When it was gone she licked the remains off of her fingertips, wishing there was more. Alice looked at the cup. Some sort of drink would really wash the cake down good. Alice licked her lips, her stomach taking over her mind, and her hand made it's way to the cup. Looking at the cup, her normal sane side noticed that the cup was considerably bigger. The table was bigger. In fact the room seemed to get bigger. It took Alice only a minute to realize in fact the room wasn't getting bigger but _she was getting smaller._ In a matter of seconds, the table beside her seemed to resemble Mt.Everest. The ground below her seemed like a desert of stone. The walls looked like giant tin snakes wraped around each other.

_'This is just great Alice_,' she thought to herself miserably. _'Now I'm as small as an ant. How will I ever find the White Rabbit now/ Oh god I just wanna go home...'_ Alice whipped her head back and forth, her blond hair hitting her face making it sting. She was trying to find something, to find anything that would help her find a way out. And looking to the North of her, she did. There was a door, a door small enough for her not to notice before, but to notice now. The corner's of Alice's mouth tugged up into the most true smile she had in the whole time she was in Wonderland. Alice made a gurgled noise that sounded almost like a strangled shout of joy and bolted to the door, arms flailing around her, looking like someone who just won the lottery and was running to collect their money. Alice stopped abruptly at the door, nearly slamming in to it.

Alice reached for the doorknob, which was crafted very beautifully. She clasped her hand over it and cried out when she felt it stick heavily to her palm. Alice screamed at it and tried to tug her hand away, but it was stuck. Blood started to run from the crack on the top of the door. It ran sluggishly down to Alice, making her groan in disgust as it pooled over her hand. Alice cried out again and tried to tug her hand away. Suddenly the key hole in the doorknob belched up a gout of blood onto her hand. The few splashes that escaped flew onto her face, making her gag.

"Let.Me.Go!!" Alice screeched at the door, tugging with all her might. Suddenly the door came flying open and a powerful wind sucked Alice into the doorframe. A bright light filled her eyes and mind, before she went flying out the other side of the door and landed on the dirt with a hard thud, knocking the wind out of her. She only managed to give a small squeak of pain. Once she started to recover, she got up slowly. The ground below her was dirt. Alice looked up. Giant blades of grass surounded her. There was one flower among them.

_My dear Alice come to me _

The blond girl rose her head sharply. She swore the voice was coming from the flower. She felt a sudden urge to go up to the top of the flower. Alice shook her head harshly.

"No, I don't even know what's up there!" Alice muttered angrily to herself. She balled her hands up into tight fists. "Besides, I couldn't even get up there if I wanted to! It's way too high." As if the flower had heard her, one of the leaves on it's stem came rushing down at her. Alice cried out in shock as the leaf curled around her and shot back up the stem. The leaf unfurled and threw her onto the middle of the flower. Alice bounced up and down it for a second, before noticing there was a person in front of her.

In front of her was a middle-aged woman. She was lying on her side, with her elbow crooked so her hand supported her head. She looked perfectly normal except for the fact that her skin was a light blue, she had beautiful blue hair, and six arms, three on each side, were attatched to her torso. A small dress like cloth covered her. She held a very long, Japanese-style pipe in her hand. A string was attatched to the end of the pipe, running around her to connect to a very small bottle at her feet. Blue puffs of smoke puffed out of the pipe now and then. The woman looked up at Alice with purple eyes. The irses' colors almost seemed to be swirling around.

"Hello, Miss," Alice greeted politley. She smiled as brightly as she could, hoping that she could get this woman's nice side.

_Hello Alice dear._

Alice blinked. This time she was sure she heard the voice. It was coming from the woman. Well, she couldn't really hear it in her mind, it was more like something she had thought in that black abyss deep in her mind.

"Was that you who talked to me?" Alice asked the woman softly.

_Yes it was me_

The woman nodded her head slowly, lightly. She reminded Alice of a butterfly, so delicate, and even when they didn't move you know that they were graceful when they did. The woman had an almost motherly aura about her, but Alice knew not to trust it. Not to trust it like she foolishly trusted Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum, like she foolishly trusted the insane Mad Hatter. The woman geustered towards the spot beside herself.

_Please sit_

Alice shook her head, fear nawing deep in her stomach. "N-no thank you, I really have to find the White Rabbit, so I can get home." She took a step back and her foot landed on a petal. Her weight sunk the petal downwards at an alarming rate. Alice cried out and pinwheeled her arms madly to keep her balance. Before she could go over the edge of the flower, one of the woman's arms shot out and grabbed Alice's wrist, pulling her steadily back onto the flower. Alice lost her balance again and fell to her knees. Before she knew it, she was sobbing, tears streaming down her face. The woman watched her patiently.

"I-i just wanna go home please!" Alice cried out between sobs. "Please!" She abruptly stopped crying when one of the woman's arms reached out towards her. Her hand gently brushed Alice's cheek, stroking it. Alice looked up at the woman. The older girl had an almost sympathetic look on her face.

_I know you must be terribly scared Alice. So I'm going to tell you a secret._

Alice blinked curiously. "A secret?"

The woman nodded, and put a finger to her lips, signaling Alice to be quiet. Alice was puzzled but she nodded anyway. The woman smiled and looked around for a moment, before setting her gaze back on Alice.

_The beast is not that sympatheic...his master is no expectation..._

Alice stared at her, that certain fear knawing once again. "What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?" She felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes but she fought them back.

The woman shook her head. _I'm terribly sorry, but I have said too much. If they catch me here saying this...I will be beheaded..._

Alice gasped and clasped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my gosh!" She slowly lowered her hands. "That's horrible. But why?"

_They don't want you to leave Alice, they want you to stay and never go back home!_

Alice sniffed, trying to keep tears back ."What are you talking about?!"

The woman suddenly opened her mouth to say something, when without warning the leaves on the stem of the flower suddenly came flying up towards them. On each of the leaves were two...what looked like playing cards. With faces. Alice gasped. Those were the same playing cards from her dream. The cards jumped off the leaves and ran towards the woman, each of them grabbing her arms, except for one. He was much bigger then the rest, with a royal aura pouring off him.

"Now, now, Miss.Caterpilar," the head card boomed in a rather loud voice. He strutted around in a circle, completly ignoring Alice. He directed his cold eyes on the woman. "You've been giving much to much information to our guest here. This is all supposed to be a surprise for her, we can't go out giving secrets." He brought out a long silver dagger from his pocket and studied it. "Now that won't be much fun." With a completely calm look in his face, he swiped the dagger at Miss.Caterpillar, disconecting her head from her body in an instant. Blood splurted from the gaping hole in the neck. _A human fire hydrent, she's a human fire hydrant,_ Alice's mind gibbered crazily. The thought stopped when Miss.Caterpillar's head rolled over to her and stopped at her feet. Alice looked down at it, a million things going on in her head at once. The head turned over so Alice could see the face. The mouth opened- a gaping hole that looked like it had blue chewed gum sticking around it. The voice that came out of it was rough and almost impossible to read. But Alice could make out one sentence.

_"It wants your blood."_

After those words came out of the mouth, the head card kicked the head away. It tumbled through the petals and fell off completely. A small thump was heard only seconds later. Alice shivered at the death and at the words Miss.Catepillar said. She looked up at the head card- who was looking down at her. He grinned, showing off yellow teeth, which many were missing.

"Hello, Alice dear."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: We're all Late

disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland

* * *

The sun slowly poked it's way through the heavy grey clouds. A light breeze whisped through the air, making the bushes rustle slightly. As they rustled the breeze tugged a bit harder for a slight moment, snagging at one of the many leaves on one of the branches. The leaf ripped off it's stem, flying into the breeze. The wind carried it off for many miles, as it twisted and turned over trees and sky. It slipped into a bush similiar to the one it was born in, but after a few seconds of flapping, it blew free. It whizzed through a tangle of leaves in a tree, before finally deciding it reached it's limit. The wind passed it, and floated down to the ground. The leaf floated slowly, as if going through water, until it hit some sort of liquid. The leaf quivered in the liquid for a slight moment before finally calming. Small ripples emitted from it as it lazily floated around the drink. Suddenly a gloved hand picked the leaf up daintily between the index and the middle finger.

The Mad Hatter studied the leaf that flapped between his fingers lightly. He rubbed it cautiously between two fingers.

"Amazing," he muttered breathly, resting his chin in his free hand. "You have no real soul, no self-counsiousness...I can do anything to you and you won't scream in neither pain nor pleasure." The Mad Hatter slowly took his index fingers and ripped the leaf in half. The two halves blew away into the wind, twisting and curling around each other. The Mad Hatter watched after them glumly.

"That's not fun. No fun at all," the Mad Hatter said to really no one at all. He scooped his tiny spoon into a small bottle of purple power and poured it into his tea. He swirled the tea with the spoon rapidly. A few specks of the tea flew out of the cup and onto the DoorMouse. The giant rat rose it's head from it's peaceful slumer in a alarm. The DoorMouse looked both left and right cautiously, before laying it's head back down. It mere seconds it slumbered quietly once again. The Mad Hatter stroked the DoorMouse's head with one finger slowly. He sighed. Picking up the cracked teapot, he poured some of the tea into the small cup beside his own.

"You really have to have some," The Mad Hatter insisted, pouring some of the purple powder into the cup. "This sugar makes it sooo nice. It's really addicting."

Beside him, the beheaded March Hare sat, shoulders slumped. Dry blood crusted throughout the white fur on his neck. Flies had started to buzz around him, eating greedily at the rotting flesh.

"Yes, I know," The Mad Hatter said, pouring some more of the purple powder. "It's absolutley delicious. Some Deadly Night Shade makes it the all better.. Oh what's that?" He cocked his head closer to the March Hare's corpse. "Oh same here. I do also wonder how our dear Alice is doing." As he said this, a sudden grin appeared out of nowhere above the table. It seemed to float in mid air.

"Hello, Chesire Cat sir," The Mad Hatter greeted, tipping his hat. A body grew out of the grin. It turned to that of a purple cat. The Chesire Cat rested his head on his crossed paws, grinning his wide grin.

"I coudln't help but overhear your conversation with the March Hare," the Chesire Cat purred, rolling over onto his back, stretching himself out. "You're curious about that little blonde girl?"

The Mad Hatter nodded, a fretful frown crossing his face. He swirled the tea around lazily with one finger. "Did she go the right way? What if she found some loophole, or something?"

The Chesire Cat shook his head, that grin never leaving from his face. "The mouse came to me! He's been following her around. Apparently, after she ran away from me, Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum ran into her. They got their share, but of course Twiddle-Dee couldn't keep his bloody hands off her."

"Heh heh, don't doubt it," the Mad Hatter said, chuckling. He leaned back into his chair, one leg crossed over the other.

That was when the Chesire Cat's grin finally dropped.

"But unfortunately she came into Miss.Catepilliar's territory."

"Oh?" The Mad Hatter's smile also dropped. It tugged up into a disgusted snarl. "She's almost as worse as that bloody-no-good White Rabbit."

The Chesire Cat nodded in agreement. "She almost spilled out everything to Alice. She almost ruined EVERYTHING!" He slammed one paw down onto the table. The DoorMouse squeaked in surprise and darted underneath the table. Neither the Chesire Cat nor the Mad Hatter paid any attention to it.

The purple cat's eyes grew cold and distant. "Almost ruined everything. But she got what she deserved." His mouth once again curled up into that twisted grin. "The Queen's knights finally saw the light."

"Well, that's good," the Mad Hatter said. "That would've been no fun." He took a sip of his tea. Once the liquid hit his tongue he scrunched his nose up. For some reason it suddenly tasted bitter. The Mad Hatter brought the cup down from his mouth and set it back on the table. He licked his chapped lips and stared out into the distance.

"No fun at all."

--

The sky had gone from cloudy and gloomy, almost as if it was going to start raining once again, to a clear, light purple sky. A almost pinkish looking sun beat down onto the land, and with the wind dying down to nothing, the humidity was awful. Alice could feel a slight sunburn starting on her forehead as she was dragged along by these wacked up card-looking people. They made her think of the games that her Dad played whenever his buddies were over. But yet these cards were filled with life, with a inner-conciousness to tell them what's right from left, what's up from down. A thin trickle of sweat went sliding down her forehead. It dribbled over her eyelid and she winced as it stung her eye. The blond looked up at the two card-like men who had hard grips on her arms. They both bore the same serious expression; like young men going off to war for a battle they've been in to many times. What Alice thought was to be the leader of these Card Men, was walking at in front of them at a brisk pace, his hands folded behind him like a how Alice used to when she was walking in a line in Kindergarten. He stayed silent for most of the walk. In fact no one said anything at all. They had tooken Alice after beheading Miss.Catepilliar, and were setting off back in the direction Alice came from. The blue woman's words were still going through Alice's head; a broken record that keeps repeating itself. The thing that was supposed to be a mouth on Miss.Cattepilliar...my god the image was also stuck in Alice's mind, embedded in it.

"So what exactly did that wretched woman tell you?" the Head Card said, breaking the silence. It startled Alice so badly she jerked hard, but the Card Men holding onto her immediately pulled her back with the same roughness.

"W-why did you do that?" Alice managed to choke out, completely ignoring his first question.

The Head Card paused and looked back at her, giving her a small smile and shrugging his shoulders sheepishly, as if saying _'Oh gee, I don't know.'._ "You are quite the curious one there girl." He looked up at the Card Men. "How about you tell her boys?"

"Because the Queen ordered us too," the Card Men said monotonuesly at the same time. Their voices sounded like that of robots. Zombies. "We must obey her."

"Obey," Alice repeated dreamily. She shook her head and snapped out of it, looking back at the Head Card. "Well at least tell me where you're taking me!"

The Head Card chuckled lightly, bringing a hand up to his mouth. "At least you've gotten much more fiesty then you were when you first got here. Weak and sensitive people don't survive very long here in Wonderland." He narrowed his eyes until they were small slits and chuckled once more.

That got Alice thinking. She thought of all the time she's been in Wonderland, which had seemed like days despite it's probably only been half a day. Maybe a bit more. And thinking of that suddenly got her thinking of her family. She thought of her brother and her mother, and her father who she feared terribly but couldn't help but have a bit of love for him. Alice blinked rapidly to keep tears out. She heard what the Head Card said about sensitive people in Wonderland. And so far, she's come to believe everything anyone here in this crazy land had said.

"Well, let us be going. We don't want to be late," the Head Card announced, once again starting to walk. Adding under his breath, "Not like that no good bloody rabbit."

Alice peered up at him, squinting at the light that was trying to make it's rays shine in her eyes. It seemed that no one she had met yet in Wonderland seemed to like the White Rabbit. Well it was alright. She wasn't exactly fond of him herself. As they walked, the tiny door that Alice had came thought came into sight. Alice swallowed hard, wondering why they were going there. Despite her gnawing curiosity, she kept her mouth shut. The Head Card walked a bit faster, stopping abrubtly in front of the door and opened it, giving a small bow and geasturing towards the doorway.

_'Be my guest,' _somewhere in Alice's mind blabbered, right before she was roughly pushed into the room. Crying out in surprise, she hit the floor hard, scraping skin off her knees and the palms of her hands. She heard the door slam behind her.

"Hey!" Alice shouted, getting up and turning on her heel, ignoring her screaming scrapes. She went to reach for the doorknob when she noticed it was still enveloped in blood. The whole door was splatterd with the maroon stuff, most of it now dried. Alice stared at the blood, as if hypnotized. But she quickly snapped out of it, looking around the room. Once again she was now surrounded by the tin snakes wrapped around each other. Alice sighed heavily, and then something caught her eye. A small cup was sitting near the Mount Rushmore sized table. It was small enough for her to drink out of it, not like it had been before. It still had the card of the same size, inscribing 'drink me with messy printing. Alice walked slowly over to it, then stared down at the cup for a moment. Her face was reflected in it and she was rather surprised by her current appearance.

The bow was missing from her hair, letting the thick blonde mess take the form of a rat's nest. Sweat matted her hair down, making it look less wild then it was supposed to. Dirt and dry blood was glazed over her face like make-up. There were dark bags under her eyes, due to being so tired. Her eyes were also red-rimmed from all the crying she did. She felt just about as awful as she looked. Alice looked back up at the giant piece of paper. It was extremly tempting, but she was unsure.

"Well eating the cake didn't hurt me in anyway," Alice muttered to herself, staring at her reflection in the liquid. Taking a deep breath, Alice pinched her nose and chugged down the liquid. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for some sort of pain to go rocketing through her body. Instead she felt herself rising. Alice opened her tightly shut eyes with some effort. The Mount Rushmore table was now just a normal sized table. She looked down and at first she thought there was an ant on the floor, but the little card near it told her otherwise. Alice smiled and looked down at the cup.

"Thank you!" she said greatfully down to the cup. Suddenly she couldn't see it anymore. Alice frowned tightly and looked over at the table. As it had been rising earlier, it was now shrinking. Alice sighed and looked up at the nearing roof.

"Here we go again."

As she said this, her head crashed through the ceiling. It felt almost as if she was breaking through a roof of crackers. Alice shielded her face from the falling debree, crying out in surprise. She looked down, the remains of the ceiling tumbling off her head and shoulders. It seemed the room she was in was the only room in the house. Alice looked around her surroundings. It looked no different from the field she had found the Mad Hatter in. Taking a deep, watery breath, she rose her legs and carefully stepped out of the house. As she stood in the field, a giant in this wacked up land, something in her snapped and she started to cry.

--

Thankfully to the occupants of Wonderland, the wind had started to go up again, but it was much more extreme than last time. The trees were swaying dangerously as the wind started to scream angrily. In the tall grass fields of Wonderland, a little mouse perched safley in the grass. The Mouse was lying on top of a rock, sun bathing peacefully, when the wind picked up and the Mouse had to get off the rock and burrow into a small hole in the ground.

"I hope the Chesire Cat doesn't mind that I stopped following Alice," the Mouse muttered to himself, squirming around to get comfturable in the sanctuary of the hole. "Alice was getting boring for me. I was expecting a much more exciting thing to happen. She's too meek for me." The Mouse cringed as the wind screamed a bit louder for a few seconds. His nose twitched irrtably as he snuck his nose out the hole cautiously. The Mouse withdrew his snout back in, and stayed in the hole for a moment.

"Why that was Alice's scent the wind just picked up," the Mouse announced to no one. He looked around the safe serenity and sighed. "If I don't watch her, the Chesire Cat will give me heck." The Mouse was just about to get out the hole when a sudden noise filled his ears. He uttered a frightened squeak as he realized it was rushing water. The Mouse started to scuttle out of the hole and to climb up the tree, but before he could even make another frightened squeak, he was swept away by a giant girl's flood of tears.

--

The wind whipped and screamed at Wonderland, sometimes bringing gusts so hard that trees were nearly knocked over by the force.

The Mad Hatter merely continued to sit calmly by the table, sipping his tea. Suddenly he looked up into the distance, jerking his neck sideways. He wore a solem expression, an expression that he didn't wear much. He took the edge of his hat between his index finger and his thumb and brought his hat down a bit, as if he was a gentlemen greeting another gentlemen.

"How do you do?" he asked, but was only answered by the screams of the wind.

--

Wind made the White Rabbit's long hair whip around his face, making his cheeks sting. He stood in front of a majestic castle, with his hands propped into his pockets. The castle behind him had a 18th century gothic look to it. The bunny suit he had been wearing before Alice had spotted him was now replaced by white suit pants, and a white dress shirt with a black vest over it. He wore no shoes. The White Rabbit chewed nervously on his bottom lip until he drew blood. His lazy-left eyelid drooped slightly, due to lack of sleep.

Reaching down into the pocket of his vest, he once again took the same pocket-watch out, staring at it almost as if it was a bomb, ready to explode at any moment. The White Rabbit took one boney finger and stroked the face of the watch lovingly.

"They're late. They're late," he muttered, before giving the field a piercing glare.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7: Pretty Accesories

Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland

* * *

The Chesire Cat snoozed peaceful atop the many branches of his favourite tree. The wind screamed with monstrous force, yet he did not move, except for the occasional rise then lower of his back. As he slept and dreamed who knows what, a noise filled his ears. It sounded extremely close, yet it could be extremely distant. It was hard to tell with very good hearing. Giving a small snore, the Chesire Cat turned over onto his back in his sleep. He raised his front paws to his chest and curled his tail into a Z shape. The purple cat mumbled something, furrowing his eyebrows.

Without warning, something crashed against the trunk of the tree violently, nearly knocking the cat out of the tree. Yowling, the Chesire Cat snapped his eyes open and clutched at the bark with his claws to maintain balance.

"You bloody carrot-muncher!" the purple feline roared, his fur standing on end. His blood-shot eyes rolled back and forth rapidly, like a patient in a mental asylum. Hissing angrily, the Chesire Cat's upper lip turned upwards. "I don't care if you're late for any rubbish! Just get off my property! Stop trying to kill me! You piece-"

He was cut short, because it was then he noticed that it was not in fact a very late rabbit at the bottom of his tree, but rushing water. The Chesire Cat looked downwards, to see what was know just a small little puddle of water. The cat looked back up and straight off into the horizon. He started to giggle. Soon it was straight out insane laughter. The Chesire Cat fell onto his stomach, wiping away tears.

"Oh me oh my," he murmurred between chuckles. "I'm getting thick for my age." The Chesire Cat rose his paws and clutched his head inbetween them. With a small grunt of effort, he pulled off his head. It came off with a small _POP_, like taking the cork off a wine bottle. Muttering to himself, the Chesire Cat placed his head carefully down onto the branch. He then proceeded to stand on his head.

"I wonder if Alice can stand on her head," he thought aloud, before accidently slipping his hind leg claw into his eye. It popped wetly.

-----

"Help! Oh please he-bluurrrgggg!"

The Mouse swam frantically in Alice's tears, as the rushing water carried him off. He poked his snout out from the surface of the water momentarily. The Mouse greedily gulped in fresh air, before being sucked down once again into the water. He was then whirled around into a circle, his backside smacking against something huge and brown. The rodent was once again whirled around and the water took him around the huge brown object. He did one last back flip before crashing against a rock, knocking the wind out of him. The Mouse opened his mouth in shock, but once water started coming in, he quickly shut it. The water seemed to be about to take him around the rock for one terrifying moment, but it seemed bored of him. The water went on, leaving the Mouse against the rock. He plopped down onto his stomach, coughing up salt water.

"When they say you look like a drowned rat, they really mean it," the Mouse groaned, rising his body enough to squat. The rodent shook himself, his ears heavy and drooping from the water. He curled up his tail and squeaked in fear as tiny rocks around him started to jump in the air. He looked up to see Alice coming, tears still dribbling down her face. They hit the ground with defeaning pounds. The Mouse once again uttered a small squeak.

"Hey you!" the Mouse cried in his small voice, hoping that even though Alice's ears were far from his own height, they would still hear his voice. "Alice! Look down here!"

Thankfully, Alice indeed did hear him. She looked down at the Mouse; but then the last of her tears slid down towards the rodent.

The Mouse cried out in fear, not much of a squeak, and scurried away from the giant drop of water. It splashed into a million pieces at the spot he was standing before. A few small droplets went flying into the Mouse's short fur.

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed, putting a hand over her mouth. She quickly wiped away the rest of the tears before they fell upon the poor Mouse. Brushing the tears away with the heel of her hand, Alice peered down at the tiny rodent, wondering what he was, because of how high she was, it was hard to tell what kind of animal was below her.

"Alice! Alice my dear, can you hear me?" The Mouse called up to her, stretching upwards to stand on his hind feet. "Alice!"

"Yes, I can hear you quite well," Alice answered quietly, rubbing at her eyes. They were sore and itchy from crying. "What do you want?"

"No need to be rude," the Mouse muttered under his breath, tail flicking back and forth. He rose his head once more. "Bend down please so we can see each other more properly!"

"Why should I?" Alice asked miserably, but obeyed anyway, and bent down as far as she could. Her watermelon sized eye peered down at the Mouse, taking in the fact he was a rodent.

When her head was in place, the Mouse jumped up into the air, higher than any mouse could. A sudden piece of cheese appeared in one tiny paw. The rodent threw it into Alice's opened mouth. Alice uttered a small 'oh!' before she felt herself rapidly falling towards the ground. In mere seconds, she was back to her normal size.

"It's so nice to be able to see the ground again!" Alice cried, falling to her knees, forgetting the Mouse for a moment. The small creature before her scuttled impatiently.

"Alice, please move about...three steps backward."

"What?" Alice asked, looking down at the Mouse, once more registering his presence. She grabbed the hem of her skirt and fiddled with it, peering at him skeptically. "Why do you want me to do that?"

The Mouse sighed, and pointed his snout to the ground. "Look there, Alice."

Alice indeed did look, and what she saw looked like a yellow piece of duck-tape. The words 'unheard' were clearly printed over and over on the tape, like a broken record. The tape was stuck on the ground and stretching our for as far as she good see, on both sides. Not really thinking, Alice decided to obey the Mouse, and she stepped behind the tape. Soft gravel crunched under her worn shoes. The Mouse also scurried over so he was behind the duck tape.

"Why do we have to be behind it?" Alice asked automatically. She felt as if she could talk to the Mouse; it wasn't like with the Mad Hatter, where there was doubt deep in her stomach. It was like when she was with the Caterpillar woman.

"You have met the Chesire Cat by now, haven't you?" the Mouse asked, seeming to ignore her question. Alice felt a small eyebrow spasm above her eye, then nodded.

"Yes, I have met him."

"And do you know about his good hearing?"

Again, she nodded.

The Mouse pointed back down at the duck tape. "This is the boundary of how far the Chesire Cat's hearing can reach. Some people don't like when they're clearly being heard by a creepy purple cat." A slight shiver went through his spine, making his tail go completely straight for a second.

Alice stared down at him in surprise. "You know, you're the most sane creature I have talked to yet." The words came out almost forcefully, as if she were choking on them earlier. The Mouse pointed his snout up at her.

"You better believe it Alice. I should tell you why everyone is like...how you would put it, insane," the tiny rodent said grimly, his tail twitching. Before Alice could say anything responding to that, the mouse added, "But no here. We might not be heard by the Chesire Cat, but people around Wonderland are sneaky. We don't want to get caught by any of the Queen's men. That would be indeed disastrous."

-------

It took some time to notice them coming, but after a while, she indeed did notice. She wouldn't have noticed at first because she was much too busy bossing her servants around. The cooks were making soup, as they did everyday around this time. This was her time to relax until their guest arrives, so she lay in her bed of needles. As she lay down, a soft sigh emitted from her when the tiny needles pierced her thick skin. Then, far away in the next room, her baby started to wail.

------

They walked for what seemed a while and in was all in silence.

The Mouse scurried along before her, seeming to walk in curving slopes. His tail kept curling and uncurling repeatedly, like a spider that doesn't want to die. Alice couldn't help but stare down at him; she was contemplating on whether or not to believe he is sane yet. As she thought this, the Mouse suddenly stopped, causing Alice to almost step on him.

"Why did you stop?" she asked impatiently, tugging at her torn sleeves and looking around. The sun seemed to be going down and Alice didn't want to know what probably comes out at night.

The Mouse sniffed at the air and his tiny eyes widened. "Oh no. I brought us to the wrong place..."

"What do you mean?!" Alice demanded, stomping one foot down. "Why don't you just tell me why everyone is insane here already?" She chewed at her bottom lip, feeling her patience at it's thin-est.

The Mouse shook his head. "I can't when we're outside. Ecspecially this close to dark..." He peered up at the sky nervously. Seeing him nervous made Alice's fear jump into life. "Well...there's a house nearby. We'll just have to go there." With that, he scurried on forward. Alice hesitantly followed.

------

Her lips turned up into a smirk as she saw the young girl coming. With her keen eyesight, she could also see the rodent was along with her. Lovely.

"We have a dinner for you and me tonight, love!" she called over to her baby. The baby squealed in it's highchair, clapping it's chubby hands and laughing in delight. That was when the doorbell rang.

-----

Alice trudged her feet impatiently on the purple grass. "I don't know about this...Do you even know who lives here?"

"Of course," the Mouse replied, standing up on his hind legs. "It's like I have the map of Wonderland in my mind. I know all the residents, and exactly where they live." He nodded, as if he was talking more to himself then Alice.

"Ok," Alice muttered uncertainly, chewing harder on her bottom lip. The taste of copper filled her mouth, making her sneer slightly. Finally, the door opened and Alice felt her gorge rise at the person who was standing in front of her. _If, _she could even call it a person.

The woman in front of her seemed to be made up of slabs of doughy-like flesh. Her swelling bosom seemed to match every other part of her body. Her face was just as big, with tiny eyes and a frowning mouth. Although it wasn't her over-all appearance that disturbed Alice; it was her accessories.

They were body parts. A baby's hand hung from her neck like a necklace. Alice could see some of the white bone poking out from where it was disembodied. She had toes for earrings, a foot attached to her wrist like a creepy talisman, and a blood-shot eye was a second earring in one ear. All of these were rotten and green, giving off a mighty stench that Alice could smell clearly enough. She had to swallow hard to keep anything in her stomach from coming back up.

"Oh, look who it is, my good friend Mouse, and Alice!" the giant woman cried in a equally giant voice. She bent down at softly stroked the Mouse's head with one pudgy finger. The Mouse cringed slightly at her touch, and laughed nervously.

"Alice, this is the Duchess," he squeaked, looking up at the woman. "She lives out here with her baby."

"It's, uh, a pleasure to meet you," Alice greeted politely, forcing a smile onto her face. The Duchess smiled at Alice; a smile that later on, Alice remarked to herself that she didn't like it. Not at all.

-------

The Mock Turtle swished his behind back and forth madly, trying to get himself moving. The shell of his had been getting heavier lately. Either that, or he was just getting rather old. He squirmed hard in the wet sand, trying to move. He had just come back from his schooling in the sea, and it had taken quite a while to get there and back.

"I think I grew somewhat older as I was gone!" the Mock Turtle mumbled to himself, wiggling his tail around. "Well, I was gone for quite a while. I wonder how my friends here are doing!" His calf-like head turned slightly, as a sudden sound of footsteps filled his ears. "Who's there? Is that you, Gryphon? I missed you a lot, if that is indeed you." It was then that the Queen's cards came into sight. The Mock Turtle cocked his head slightly.

"The Knave of Hearts?" the not-quite turtle questioned curiously, seeing the head card running his way. "Is there something wrong in Wonderland? If there is, you know I won't hesitate to-"

Blood flew as the Mock Turtle's calf-head came flying off his neck. His body squirmed a bit forward, then remembered that it was dead and slumped down onto the sand. One of the cards picked up the head, shaking the sand off it.

"Good job men," the Knave of Hearts said in a monotone voice. He motioned for two of the cards to pick up the Mock Turtle's body, and they did so.

"You know how our dear Queen loves Mock Turtle soup."

* * *

Crappy story is crappy. :D

.


	8. Chapter 8: Speak Roughly

Disclaimer: I don't own Alice in Wonderland

Even though I rarely get reviews, I'm proud. Usually it takes YEARS for me to make at least a few chapters, but I've got 8 now, and I only started before last summer.

And, may I note, Alice's time is today, it's just that her parents are very old-fashioned.

* * *

The Duchess' fat lips continued to spread across her flabby cheeks in a sick grin as she led her guests into her home. Alice looked around, confusion swimming in her eyes. It looked like any normal house. Normal furniture, pictures of what she thought to be relatives hanging on the walls. Except for the rotting stench of the Duchess' accessories, it had a nice smell. Like when Alice would walk down the air-freshener aisle of Walmart. She inhaled deeply, taking in the beautiful smells. The Duchess then leaned towards her, instantly cutting off the sweet smell.

"Beautiful," the older woman cooed. Alice grimaced. Her breath was even worse. From this close-up, the girl took notice that the Duchess' teeth were old and yellow, like someone who smokes. And indeed, there was a hint of cigarette among her breath.

"W-what?" Alice asked in a tiny voice.

"Such a beautiful girl. My baby will love you." As if on cue, wailing could be heard from the other room. It rang as steadily as a fire alarm.

Suddenly the Duchess' kind face turned dark. Her upper lip curled up into a snarl. "Shut up, SHUT UP!" She shuffled off, leaving Alice and the Mouse in the lovely-smelling living room.

Alice blinked. "What was that about?"

"She can be somewhat moody at times," the Mouse answered, his tail flicking back and forth nervously. They stood in silence (or in the Mouse's case, squatted) and waited for the Duchess to come back. When she did, she was holding the baby in her arms, and Alice had to cover her mouth to keep from gasping.

He looked incredibly peaceful in his mother's arms, and would've looked cute, if it weren't for his head, and the gashes and bruises scattered across it. The baby's head was even larger than the Duchess. Alice would've laughed at the size of his head, but then the baby opened his mouth to yawn, and a few handful's of needle-like teeth were shown. Alice decided to keep her mouth shut.

The Duchess nuzzled her baby's abnormally-large head. He made an odd gurgling noise in his throat.

"Will you stay for supper?" The Duchess piped up, her pudgy face once again bright and full of sunshine.

Alice shifted her feet around the carpet in circles with her toe, trying to make it seem like she didn't hear her.

The Mouse looked up at the Duchess and smiled sheepishly. "We'd love to. What are you having?"

The Duchess laughed - booming but hollow. "Oh, that's a silly question. You already know what I'm cooking!" The tiny rodent laughed along with her, but it was nervous laughter. Alice frowned.

The Duchess turned to where Alice thought was the kitchen. "Are you almost done? My baby needs something to eat now!"

"Yes, Duchess!" a small voice came from the kitchen. It sounded so far away. Then, a small lizard came rushing out from one of the many doors. He held a huge soup pot in his scrawny arms. The lizard teetered and tottered around the room, trying to keep his balance. A few drops of soup came out over the side.

"Thank you Bill," the Duchess said. She reached into the soup pot with her free hand and scooped some out. Alice's eyes widened.

"She likes pain," the Mouse, who was now perched on her shoulder, whispered to her. "She's odd like that. Don't make any comments about it." Alice nodded obediently.

"Here my baby," the over-weight woman cooed, bringing her hand up to her baby's mouth. Alice bit her lip to keep from yelling out. The baby looked at her hand curiously, then started to sip from the palm of her hand. Alice smiled a bit. The baby was sorta cute- once you get past the head and the teeth. But Alice found it odd that the baby hadn't opened his eyes yet. She could see the eyeballs rolling beneath the lids.

The baby gurgled again and sank his teeth into the Duchess' flabby hand. His mother merely kissed him on the nose. Then the baby sneezed.

There was a sudden silence in the room, so thick you could drink from it. Alice continued to chew her lip, now even more nervous. The Duchess's face went dark.

"Bill?"

"Yes, Duchess?" Bill the lizard asked nervously, wringing his hands together. Alice swore she could see beads of sweat going down his scaley head, which was almost impossible. But nothing in Wonderland was impossible.

The Duchess turned to him and he made a small 'eep!' noise. "Did you put pepper in the soup, my dear Bill?"

"N-no, missus," Bill stuttered, continuing to wring his green hands. "I asked everyone before I came to you."

The baby sneezed again.

The Duchess snarled at him, dog-like. She wrapped both pudgy hands around the baby's waist and lifted him. Alice gasped and started towards them.

The baby gurgled as he was thrown into the air. That made Alice stop. The baby came flying back down into the Duchess' hands. He was thrown back up again.

"Well, that's a relief," Alice murmured, heart still racing.

"Speak roughly to your little boy. Beat him when he sneezes," the Duchess chanted in a hypnotic voice, as she threw him back in the air. "He only does to annoy, because he knows it teases." She caught him, and this time held him out in front of her. The baby giggled and reached at her with tiny hands. Then she punched him.

"What are you doing?!" Alice screamed, hands flying up to her mouth. "Stop it!"

"I SPEAK SEVERELY TO MY BOY!!" the Duchess screeched, beating the boy's face with her huge fists. "I BEAT HIM WHEN HE SNEEZES!!!!" She led out a wild cry and threw the baby to the floor like a rag-doll, panting heavily.

"For he can thoroughly enjoy...the pepper when he pleases," she panted, looking like she just ran a 10-mile jog. Alice stared in horror at the baby on the floor. He laid motionless, not a wail coming out of him. The blond girl looked over at Bill the lizard. Bill was muttering fretfully to himself, fear springing to life in his eyes. A large thumping noise made Alice look back over to the Duchess, who was now lying on the floor with her eyes closed. At first Alice suspected she was dead, but then she noticed the Duchess' back rising up and down slightly.

"I'm taking the baby," Alice announced to the Mouse, walking over to the motionless child. Her torn shoes clunked on the wooden floor. The Mouse opened his mouth to protest, but then Alice looked back at him, and something in her eyes made him shut his mouth.

'What was that?' the Mouse thought solemnly to himself. He frowned and a shiver ran through his small spine.

Alice carefully picked up the baby. He was surprisingly light, despite his bulbous head. She smiled down at him, grateful to see that his chest was still rising and falling at normal pace. When he was sleeping (and his mouth was closed) the Duchess' baby looked cute. He mumbled in his sleep and snuggled into Alice's arms. Alice looked up from him and walked over the sleeping Duchess. Since the Duchess was so large, Alice accidentally stepped onto the overweight woman's hands. She winced, waiting for the Duchess to wake up, but the older woman merely shifted a bit on the floor. Alice walked out of the house calmly, leaving Bill to wring his hands and mutter fretfully.

-------

The Mad Hatter carefully plucked a small worm from the ground. He rubbed it between the pads of his fingers, liking the squishy feeling it made. Wind lightly tussled his hair that wasn't covered by his gigantic hat. The Mad Hatter started to squeeze hard. The worm squirmed wildly, both ends wiggling back and forth. Soon, the pressure was hard enough that the worm exploded in the Mad Hatter's hand. Worm guts flew onto the lower half of the Mad Hatter's face. He grimaced and wiped the guts off with his gloved hand.

"I've had enough me time," he announced to no one, wiping his hand on the knees of his pants. The Mad Hatter stood up and looked off. The sun was extremely close to the horizon now. "I better get back to the guys. The Dormouse probably ate everything." He giggled lightly. It drifted off with the wind. The Mad Hatter walked off, hands stuck in his pockets. He smiled to himself as he walked, humming. Then the Mad Hatter stopped and frowned.

"Why do I feel so wierd?" he asked himself, scratching at his arm absently. "I feel almost normal..." He continued walking, eyes glazed over as he thought. It took a while to notice everything when he walked back to his table, but when he did notice, his eyes widened and he screamed a normal scream.

-------

A scream that rang through the land was what woke Alice up. She sat up so fast a dizziness came upon her. Alice groaned and laid back down on the dirt. She looked over to her left, where the Mouse snoozed in a giant leaf. They were currently in another forest, in a clearing. Alice was hesitant at first, but the Mouse finally convinced her that this forest was safer than the one the Dormouse chased her through. Alice sighed and brought the blankets she got from the Duchess' house to her chin. They had walked for a bit before deciding to go back and get some supplies. Alice wanted to ask the Mouse if he was going to tell her anything yet, but he said she would have to wait.

Alice curled up in the blanket, loving the feel of it. It felt like she hadn't had a nice, warm blanket on for years. It was a bit rough and itchy, but Alice was so tired she would gratefully sleep with a blanket of needles on her.

The baby hadn't woken up since they left. He merely snoozed as they walked. Alice looked over to where he was. Her eyes widened. She flew back up into a sitting position as she stared at the lump of baby blankets. But no baby.

"Baby?" Alice called out, instantly waking up the Mouse. The rodent rose his snout tiredly, peering around with equally tired eyes.

"Where is he?"Alice asked, turning her head to the Mouse so fast her blond hair whipped her cheeks.

"I don't know," the Mouse answered groggily, turning around in fast circles before settling back down.

Alice stood up, looking around the clearing. "Where are you Baby?" She frowned and continued to scan the clearing.

The Mouse waited for himself to go comatose. But growling from the bushes snapped him back to reality. The rodent squeaked in fear and backed away from the trees. He scampered to Alice.

"Alice, I think there's something-"

Alice whipped her head around in time to see something black and furry fly at her. A scream escaped her mouth, but she managed to command her feet to get going. The creature missed her by an inch. Alice ran to the other side of the clearing, grabbing the Mouse along the way. She turned to stare at the creature, but blinked when she saw what it was.

A pig. A small, shaggy pig. Alice sighed in relief. But then the pig growled.

"Last time I checked, pig's don't growl," Alice muttered, taking another step back. The pig smiled at her, revealing rows of needle-sharp teeth.

It gurgled.

* * *

Um...woot.


	9. Chapter 9: The Caucus Race

Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland, foo.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The pig that was a baby not long ago bared it's needle-like fangs.

Alice tensed the muscles in her legs, readying herself to run.

"Mouse, tell me what you know about the baby as a pig. You seem to know a lot about everyone in Wonderland," Alice said, her voice barely a whisper.

The Mouse shifted around on her shoulder. "Luckily, he's slow. But, he can jump from tree to tree fairly quickly, making up for his lack of speed in running."

Alice wanted to suddenly strangle the little rodent for not mentioning that in the first place. Shocked by the sudden urge for violence, Alice pushed the feeling away and turned her attention back to the situation.

The pig gurgled at them, then brushed it's front hoof in the dirt before it. It looked up at Alice with dead, black eyes.

"We're going to make a run for it," Alice whispered, more to herself then the Mouse. She would have to take her chances.

Though, before she could make any run for it, the sound of a thousand approaching footsteps filled the clearing. Alice whipped her head around. It seemed the sound was coming everywhere at once.

It was. Before anyone could blink, the clearing was filled with Card Men, black and white. All with weapons. Alice ducked behind the trees to keep safe from the sudden slaughter. Looking at her shoulder, she noticed that the Mouse was missing. She feared the worst.

The what seemed like a Civil War didn't last long, seeming as the Cards didn't last long. Despite the fact they had man faces and appendages, they were still just flimsy cards. The weapons they had made the killing quick. Alice decided to keep that little bit of info in her mind, just in case she had to go against a Card.

It also helped that most Cards fled, realizing that this fight was foolish and neither side was going to win.

Soon, the clearing was empty of life; even the pig was dead. It was trampled by the Card's boots. There were bones sticking from the black fur. Alice looked away from it, appaled by the fact it was a baby not even a few hours ago.

Alice cautiously walked back into the clearing, trying to stay clear of walking over any of the deseased Cards. She looked to her left and immedatley regreted it. A Card Man was propped up against a tree, a mad grin still frozen on his face. Half of his head seemed to have blown off. His brains was scattered on the tree he was leaning against. And that was all it took.

Alice clapped a hand over her mouth, as her stomach lurched and bile tried to make it's way up her throat. She swallowed hard, hearing a click in her throat. Alice dropped to her knees, gasping as her stomach gave another lurch. She squeezed her eyes tightly and counted back words from fifty. After a minute or two of kneeling, the nausea passed. Alice opened her eyes and worked her jaw, realizing she was gritting her teeth hard enough to hurt. That's when she noticed it. The metal was glinting in the sunlight.

It was a oversized machette, incrusted with blood, both dry and not.

Alice crawled over to it, not really bothering to get up. She closed her hands over the warm handle and gingerly picked the knife up. The fresh blood on it dripped off, but she took no notice of it. Alice slowly rose it to her chest and held it against her, as if it was plush or small child.

"They're not the same though," she muttered to the dead Cards.

The Mouse then waddled back into the clearing. Being a skittish animal, he bolted when the Cards flooded the place. He had hidden in a burrow, though afterwords he felt bad for leaving Alice. The small creature then noticed Alice kneeling with the machete. It reminded him strangely of the Duchess, and he thought to himself, '_Please, oh please, do not let it be happening yet.'_

"Alice!" the Mouse cried, scampering over to her. "What do you have there?"

"I'll need it," Alice said, ignoring his question. "If I have to survive in Wonderland, I need something, right? I mean, no offense, but you are a prey animal, Mouse."

The Mouse turned his snout up to her. "I might be, but I have been in Wonderland for years, and I'm still alive." He closed his eyes slightly. "Besides, I haven't found any creature here who eats mice. Not even The Griffin."

Alice was about to ask what The Griffin was, but she decided not to. Instead, she stood up, holding the machette at her side. The Mouse eyed the machette uneasily.

"Well, we should be going right? We need to find the White Rabbit," Alice said, in a high voice. To the Mouse, she sounded like someone who was going to snap any moment. He prayed that she wouldn't.

"Yes, we should be going. I know who can help us. We can also stay at his house. And," he added, seeing Alice's skeptical look, "he's about as sane as me. He can be a bit strange, but not nearly as strange as some of the other people you have met."

'_I hope,'_ The Mouse thought bitterly to himself, as he led Alice to the Dodo.

---------

There was a satisfying _crack _as the croquet mallet hit the ball. The ball went soaring, squealing all the way. The crowd cheered.

The beautiful, black-haired woman smiled vainly, even as her mallet tried to bite her. She trotted over to the ball, which was trembling hard. The woman put a scarred hand up, singaling for silence, which there immediately was.

Someone in the bleachers coughed.

The corner of the woman's mouth twitched downwards. She slowly turned to the poor creature that had made a noise, a killer's glint in her eyes.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" She screeched, flinging her mallet at the creature. "OFF WITH HIS _BLOODY_ HEAD!!"

--------

The Mouse peered cautiously at the sky, which was starting to turn a dark grey. Alice didn't dare to look up at the sky.

"Don't worry," The Mouse reassured her, though he seemed nervous himself. "The storm won't begin for a while. And by the time it does, we'll be in a house."

Alice snorted. "Yeah, but can the houses stand against the rain?"

The Mouse rose his snout to her, a confused look in his beady eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Nevermind."

They continued to walk on, Alice now not much worried about the rain, but now more worried about who they're going to visit. The Mouse still hadn't told her who exactly they would be visiting, though after the Duchess, she was somewhat frightened to ask.

In Alice's hand was the machete. She wiped the rust on it off her dress, not really caring that her dress and filthy and ripped. No one else in this place would probably care, either.

A faint sound filled Alice's ears, though as first she was unsure of what it was. It was a strangely calming sound and it reminded her of home. She stopped for a moment, closing her eyes. She swore that the sound had gotten louder. She heard the Mouse scuffle across the grass, before going on some soft surface. Alice opened her eyes and saw a beach. The tide was high and the water was so blue it was almost mercerising. She stared at the never-ending ocean, awed by it's beauty. Though, something in between the waves caught her eye. Narrowing her eyes, Alice noticed that animals of many species were swimming in the ocean. Even non-aquatic animals, animals that would never swim, were swimming. For some reason though, her attention was caught by a rather large bird (almost as big as herself) with a cane in it's beak.

The giant bird flapped it's wings madly in the water, making Alice wonder how it was floating. The bird somehow swam to the to the shore, shaking it's feathers to get the water off. It took the cane under it's wing, then finally noticed The Mouse and Alice.

"Mouse! My dear, dear friend!" The bird cried in a large, booming voice. To Alice, it sounded like the voice a teacher might have. A gym teacher, perhaps.

The Mouse grinned, and walded over to the bird. "Alice, this is The Dodo! Dodo, this is Alice."

The Dodo grinned as best as he could with a beak. "Alice, my dear. How nice to meet you." He bird-walked over to Alice, using his cane as support. "You have come just in time! We were just about to start the race, so we can dry off."

Alice looked down at The Mouse, who was beaming. "The Dodo is famous for the races he holds. They are actually fun to do. You should have a go at it." Seeing Alice's shocked look, he added, "Do not worry. The races are harmless and fun. Dodo, why don't you tell her the rules?"

"Yes, I should, shouldn't I? Well, first of all, the race is called a Caucus Race," The Dodo explained, ruffling his feathers. "Anyone who enters the race will start and leave whenever they want too, run in any pattern or direction, and stop whenever you feel like it. So everyone wins!" The giant bird looked rather proud of the rules.

Alice nodded slowly, not really getting how this was a competition of any sort. "Um, so we just basically run around?"

"Yes!" The Dodo chirped, seeming so cheerful that for a moment Alice thought he was glowing. As he glowed, the animals in the ocean started to come to shore, all eager for the race. They all stood at the shoreline, dripping wet. Alice was surprised that none of them took the time to shake the water off.

"Now," The Dodo said, leaning against his cane, "shall we start the race? Well, if so, go."

The line of animals stood still, except for a scrawny raccoon that shot out of the line. It scampered wildy in circles a few meters from the line. Alice blinked, clearly confused.

The Dodo peered at her, with something almost like annoyance lingering in his eyes. "Well? Are you going to participate?"

Alice blinked again, staring at the raccoon going in circles. "Um, actually, I've been pretty tired since I've come to Wonderland. I think if I run, I might collapse."

Suddenly, all went silent. The raccoon even stopped, looking up at Alice with intelligent, knowing eyes. The Dodo finally broke the awkward silence.

"An outsider! A new comer! We have a outsider!" he screeched in a hoarse voice. The animals started to grunt, bark, meow and every other noise they could make. The Dodo held up a wing and it went silent once more. He grinned at Alice. "Well, being a new comer makes you win automatically. Please, take out whatever is in your pocket." He gestured to her dress.

Alice backed up a bit, knowing what was in her pocket, and not wanting to give it up. "Why?"

"Because it's your prize, silly!"

"Well, I already have it so it's been given to me, hasn't it?"

That seemed to have stumped The Dodo. It proceeded to stand on one stick leg, seeming to be thinking. The Dodo said quietly," but I must be the one to give it to you. I must be."

Before she even knew it, Alice's hand was stuck in her pocket, gripping the rubber handle of the machete. Silently groaning, she slipped the weapon out of her pocket, keeping it close to her so The Dodo couldn't snatch for it. Once The Dodo's eyes were set on the blade, they widened a admirable amount. He squawked once, flapping his flightless wings so hard Alice thought for a moment he might actually fly. The giant bird grinned delightfully. All the other animals started to go crazy.

"We have a grand winner!" The Dodo announced cheerfully as the other animals started to quiet down. "A mega winner! You win the ultimate prize!"

Alice grinned nervously back at him, cradling the machete to her chest. "T-That's great."

"So, Dodo, with her being the grand winner, can we ask you a favour?" The Mouse, who had climbed up to Alice's shoulder, asked. His ears brushed against her cheek, tickling it.

The Dodo bowed, waving his cane slightly. "If I am capable of doing so, I will do it."

"May we stay at your house tonight?" Alice asked quietly, now realizing that the sky was a fully dark grey. "We really have nowhere to go."

"Why, sure!" The Dodo chirped. His syrupy voice was really starting to annoy Alice. "It would be wonderful to have company come over. The only time I ever meet with my friends is at the beach. And right now, it looks as if a downpour is about to come. We should get inside soon. It's on the other side of the beach, so we won't have far to walk to it." With that, he started to bird-walk away from them. Alice followed reluctantly. She turned her head slightly so she could see The Mouse.

"So, we're going to his nest?"

The Mouse shook his head, his ears again brushing against Alice. "No. He has a regular house, just like The Duchess. Except he lives by himself."

The rest of the walk was in silence, but luckily it only took a few minutes before Alice could clearly see the house. It looked regular enough. The Dodo stopped at the front door and turned to them.

"I hope you enjoy it at my house! I will start a fire, since when it rains it tends to get extremely chilly. I have a extra bed for you, Alice. It will be nice and warm. I bet you haven't had a nice nap since you've came to Wonderland, eh?" The Dodo asked, winking slyly.

Just thinking of sleep made Alice want to plop right onto the sand and snooze away. The idea of a warm bed was heavenly.

Alice grinned tiredly and walked up to the door as The Dodo held it open for her. Inside of the house was beautifully warm and cozy.

"The spare bedroom is down the hall on the right," The Dodo said, waving a wing as the hall. "I am going to go start a fire."

Alice nodded, walking down the hall and not bothering to look back. She stopped at the spare bedroom, taking in her surroundings. A beautiful oak bed was placed near the window. Alice didn't even bother to wonder if the rain would go right through the window and get her while she was sleeping. She was much too tired. Alice carefully took The Mouse off her shoulder and set him beside the pillow. The small rodent was sleeping. He must've been exhausted after all.

Alice smiled at The Mouse, be climbing into the bed and pulling the comfuter over her head. She thought she had never felt anything so good in her life. Rain started to patter upon the roof ins a calming lulaby. In mere minutes, she went comatose.

----

The Dodo bird-walked into the room, his talon-ed-feet clicking against the wooden floor. The girl and the rodent were much too deep in sleep to notice any noise outside of their dreamland, though. He walked over to the bed, reaching his wings out under the blanket. He grasped the rubber handle of the machete and cautiously slipped it out of the girl's pocket.

The moon's light shined proudly on the blade. The Dodo tightened his grip on the handle, his mouth turning up into a insane grin.

"For you, my queen. For you only."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Another day, another crappy chapter.


End file.
